E
Eagle1
Guest
Don't Fart in Bed
(If this story doesn't make you cry for laughing so
hard, let me know and I will pray for you.)
This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for
years.
The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of
farting
loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and
the
smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every
morning
she would plead with him
to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He
told
her
he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him
to
see a
doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one
Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and
he
was
upstairs sound asleep,she looked at the bowl where she had put the
turkey
innards and neck gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a
malicious
thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her
husband
was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled
back
the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of
turkey
guts
into his shorts.
Some time later she heard her husband awaken with his usual
trumpeting
which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of
frantic
footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control
herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After
years
of torture she reckoned she had
got him back pretty good. About twenty minutes later, her
husband
came
downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on
his
face.
She bit her lip as she asked him what the matter was. He said,
"Honey,
you
were right. All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to
you."
"What do you
mean?" asked his wife. "Well, you always told me that one day
I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the
grace
of God, some Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think I got most of
them
back in."
(If this story doesn't make you cry for laughing so
hard, let me know and I will pray for you.)
This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for
years.
The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of
farting
loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and
the
smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every
morning
she would plead with him
to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He
told
her
he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him
to
see a
doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one
Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and
he
was
upstairs sound asleep,she looked at the bowl where she had put the
turkey
innards and neck gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a
malicious
thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her
husband
was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled
back
the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of
turkey
guts
into his shorts.
Some time later she heard her husband awaken with his usual
trumpeting
which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of
frantic
footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control
herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After
years
of torture she reckoned she had
got him back pretty good. About twenty minutes later, her
husband
came
downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on
his
face.
She bit her lip as she asked him what the matter was. He said,
"Honey,
you
were right. All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to
you."
"What do you
mean?" asked his wife. "Well, you always told me that one day
I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the
grace
of God, some Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think I got most of
them
back in."