Update From Tiny's Sister

T

TonyB

Guest
First, I apologize for not keeping you better informed about my brother. I just returned from Durham this evening, came to the computer to contact the lists he had given me... and found that you had been attempting to find him... and had succeeded. Apparently he had a visit from two of you shortly after we left this afternoon. He had told us that someone had informed him that some "internet" friends were planning to visit but perhaps they were confused and meant that we were coming. At any rate, I know he was thrilled to see you.

Unfortunately the news we received from his doctor today was not good. Dad and I had to choose between prolonging his life as long as possible, enduring great pain and suffering, with no eventual good outcome possible... and making his last days, weeks, whatever, as comfortable as possible. The doctor was certain that he would NEVER be able to go home. Jimmy had made it clear to all concerned that he preferred death to life in a nursing home. So, taking all factors into consideration ..Jimmy's expressed wishes for quite some time prior to his most recent illness, as well as the doctor's advice and our wishes for his suffering to end, we of course chose the latter. The difficulty in making this decision was even more so because today he was more alert than he has been for quite some time.

We have not told him that his dialysis will be suspended, that they will not give him more blood transfusions, and that his condition is considered terminal. As smart as he is, he may figure it all out, but please keep your communications with him as upbeat as possible (as you already have). The doctor has told us he should be able to control Jimmy's pain to a great extent, for which we are grateful.

Your cards have meant as much to Dad as to Jimmy. Dad keeps saying how amazed he is at all the cards he has received from "all over." At 91, Dad still visits Jimmy every day... even when Jimmy doesn't know he's there. This is so very hard on him.

Jimmy's address is: Room 6104 Select Specialty Hospital, 3643 N. Roxboro St., Durham, NC 27704.

And my email address is: [email protected].

Jimmy is blessed by having such a loyal, devoted group of friends. Thank you for your friendship.

Sara Eggleston
 
This is Soooo sad and heart breaking. I'm just at a loss for words.
 
A heartbreaking development.

A choice no one ever wants to face for themselves, or for their loved ones. I cannot imagine having to make that kind of decision for my parents or my wife.

Thoughts and prayers for Tiny and his entire family.
 
I am so sad to hear this news.
I hope TRL gets a chance to see him while she is in NC.
A most difficult decision for Sara and Dad, so they ALL will be in my thoughts and prayers.
I sent an email to Sara for Tiny.

:wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub:
 
:wub: Tiny, I can only hope that you enjoyed the ride and ate the dessert first. You are, and will be missed. We will get along without you but it will NOT be pleasent, not our choice.
Betsy :wub:
 
This is very sad news, indeed. :( Thoughts and prayers to Tiny and his family. :lilangel:
 
:( I don't know what to say except that I will continue to pray for Tiny.
golden_angel.gif
 
Very Very heartbreaking. I will pray for Tiny's comfort and his family. :lilangel:
 
This is heart breaking news. We all had such high hopes. But we shall keep praying. Tiny many of us you have never met. But we are still your friends. :cheers:
 
Further update from Tiny's sister...

I received word Wednesday morning that Dad had been in an auto accident, so I left for Durham asap. I returned to Charlotte Thursday evening, and will go back to Durham tomorrow morning to stay a while. First, word about Jimmy: As I told you earlier, the doctors have discontinued his dialysis treatments and blood transfusions. He is getting nourishment by a feeding tube, and is being given whatever pain meds he needs. The nurse told me by phone this morning that he is quiet except when they try to do something for him-- then he is a bit belligerent. We don't know how much longer he will last. When I saw him yesterday, he would be somewhat coherent for a while, then drift off to sleep. I am convinced that his doctors are doing the best they can for him, and I am glad he is no longer in pain.

Dad had a heart attack - either before his driving accident or after - we don't know which came first. He apparently stopped at a stop sign, then started up again, at which time he was hit on the driver's side of his car. He doesn't remember much except that he had decided to go by his home after picking up Jimmy's mail and before going to visit Jimmy in the hospital. He remembers nothing about the accident.

He suffered a sub-dural hemotoma (?) but successive CAT scans did not show that this bleeding in his brain was getting any worse, so nothing will be done about that. He is in the cardiac care unit at Duke University Medical Center and probably will be released tomorrow when I get there. The doctors say he has no business driving at his age of 91, blind in left eye, partially blind in right eye, and extremely hard of hearing even with hearing aids. I don't want to be around when they tell him his driving license will be revoked!

There are a lot of issues we will have to deal with in the coming days, but I hope you all know how much your friendship with Jimmy means to us. Thank you for sharing the information with other boards.

Sara Eggleston
 
Continued Thoughts and prayers. Sara needs our thoughts too, as she is going through a very rough time dealing with multiple problems. Please send her Emails in support of her and her family.
 
More really sad news from Sara. This woman Needs our prayers for strength, I don't know how she can deal with all this by herself.



From Sara in Charlotte: Sorry to inform you all that our Dad passed away at 4 a.m. His heart just gave out. The report from Jimmy this morning is that he is stable, whatever that means. I'll be leaving for Durham in a few hours but wanted to let you all know about Dad and to thank you again for your prayers. I know that in reality Dad's passing is probably for the best since he was so fiercely independent and would not have wanted to have to go to a nursing home or anything of that sort, but it is quite a shock to lose him.
Sara Eggleston
 
six2win had an idea and posted it to other boards, and I think it's a good one too.

Why don't we post condolences at Tiny's Website. That way Sara will have just one place to visit, read and print out the sympathies that are sent her way.

Tiny's web site
 
I wasn't sure where to post the message, so I posted it to the "Guest Book" so Sara will see them.
 
Tiny shared his love of racing, and his friendship with soooooooo many!!!!!
Tiny we love you!!!!! The Lord must have a special place for folks like you.
 
Thanks for the link, that is a nice site. It seems like Tiny really has had a true appreciation for life and all it has to offer.
 
I sent her a sympathy ecard as well as a positive, upbeat ecard for Tiny.
For those who want Sara's email addie, please contact TonyB, Eagle or myself by PM.
She must have a very strong support system to deal with so much at this time. My continued thoughts and prayers to the family.
 
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