C
cutiepie24
Guest
WAL-MART APPLICATION
Job application submitted by a 75 year old senior citizen to Walmart in Arkansas.
They hired him because he was so funny.....
NAME: George Martin
SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate)
DESIRED POSITION:? Company's President or Vice President.? But seriously, whatever's
available.?????????????????????? If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place
DESIRED SALARY:? $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance
package.? If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: ???????? Target for middle management hostility.
PREVIOUS SALARY:? A lot less than I'm worth
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT:? My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes
REASON FOR LEAVING:? It sucked
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK:?
Any
PREFERRED HOURS:? 1:30-3:30 p.m Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?:? Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?:? Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?:? I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?:? I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.
DO YOU SMOKE?:? On the job - no! ???????????????????????????????? On my breaks - yes!
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?:? Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
NEAREST RELATIVE....7 miles
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?:? Oh yes, absolutely.
Job application submitted by a 75 year old senior citizen to Walmart in Arkansas.
They hired him because he was so funny.....
NAME: George Martin
SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate)
DESIRED POSITION:? Company's President or Vice President.? But seriously, whatever's
available.?????????????????????? If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place
DESIRED SALARY:? $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance
package.? If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: ???????? Target for middle management hostility.
PREVIOUS SALARY:? A lot less than I'm worth
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT:? My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes
REASON FOR LEAVING:? It sucked
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK:?
Any
PREFERRED HOURS:? 1:30-3:30 p.m Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?:? Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?:? Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?:? I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?:? I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.
DO YOU SMOKE?:? On the job - no! ???????????????????????????????? On my breaks - yes!
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?:? Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
NEAREST RELATIVE....7 miles
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?:? Oh yes, absolutely.