A
ajk112802
Guest
Weather Jokes...
20. Q: What do a tornado, a hurricane and a redneck divorce have in common? A: In the end, someone is going to loose a house trailer.
19. What did the one tornado say to the other? Let’s twist again like we did last summer!
18.Two weathermen each broke an arm and a leg in an accident, and called from the hospital about the four casts.
17. It was autumn, and the Indians on the remote reservation asked their new Chief if the winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was a new Indian Chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets, and when he looked at the sky, he couldn't tell what the weather was going to be. Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he replied to his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect wood to be prepared. But also being a practical leader, after several weeks he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is the coming winter going to be cold?" "It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold indeed," the meteorologist at the weather service responded. "How can you be so sure?" the Chief asked. The weatherman replied, "The Indians are collecting wood like crazy!"
16. Rumor has it that the Miami baseball team will now be called "Humidity" so that fans in Florida will be able to say, "It's not the Heat that's so bad, it's the Humidity."
15. The U.S. has only three hurricane warning centers - Coral Gables, FL, Guam, and Honolulu, HI (recently completed). All three have faced Category 4 hurricanes. Which only goes to show: If you build it, they will come!
14. I really don't understand why the federal government was so slow to send aid to the areas hit by Hurricane Andrew and Hurrican Katrina. After all, both Florida and Louisiana have oil.
13. It was so hot today I saw a robin picking earthworms out of the ground with a pair of tongs.
12. What happens when the fog lifts in California? UCLA.
11. How to predict weather in Seattle: If you can see Mt Ranier, it's going to rain. If not, it already is.
10. An honest weatherman says, "Today's forecast is bright and sunny with an 80% chance that I'm wrong."
9. First cave man to 2nd cave man: "I don't care what you say. We never had such unusual weather before they started using bows and arrows."
8. Nate: "Hey, what's the weather like out there?" Kate: "I don't know. I'll tell you when it clears."
7. Why did the lady go out doors with her purse open? Because she expected some change in the weather.
6. It's a bit "muggy" in New York today.
5. There's a technical term for a sunny, warm day which follows two rainy days. It's called Monday.
4. A postcard home: The weather is here. Wish you were beautiful.
3. Two Viking invaders are trudging up the beach in the pouring rain. One looks skywards and says, "So this is England. What's it like?" The other snarls, "Well, if you like the weather, you'll love the food."
2. There was a communist named Rudolph. One day he looked out the window and said, "It looks like a storm is coming." "No it isn't," said his wife. "Besides, how would you know?" "Because," he responded, "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."
1. A weather forecaster took a job in another part of the country. When asked why he transferred he replied, "The weather didn't agree with me."
20. Q: What do a tornado, a hurricane and a redneck divorce have in common? A: In the end, someone is going to loose a house trailer.
19. What did the one tornado say to the other? Let’s twist again like we did last summer!
18.Two weathermen each broke an arm and a leg in an accident, and called from the hospital about the four casts.
17. It was autumn, and the Indians on the remote reservation asked their new Chief if the winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was a new Indian Chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets, and when he looked at the sky, he couldn't tell what the weather was going to be. Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he replied to his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect wood to be prepared. But also being a practical leader, after several weeks he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is the coming winter going to be cold?" "It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold indeed," the meteorologist at the weather service responded. "How can you be so sure?" the Chief asked. The weatherman replied, "The Indians are collecting wood like crazy!"
16. Rumor has it that the Miami baseball team will now be called "Humidity" so that fans in Florida will be able to say, "It's not the Heat that's so bad, it's the Humidity."
15. The U.S. has only three hurricane warning centers - Coral Gables, FL, Guam, and Honolulu, HI (recently completed). All three have faced Category 4 hurricanes. Which only goes to show: If you build it, they will come!
14. I really don't understand why the federal government was so slow to send aid to the areas hit by Hurricane Andrew and Hurrican Katrina. After all, both Florida and Louisiana have oil.
13. It was so hot today I saw a robin picking earthworms out of the ground with a pair of tongs.
12. What happens when the fog lifts in California? UCLA.
11. How to predict weather in Seattle: If you can see Mt Ranier, it's going to rain. If not, it already is.
10. An honest weatherman says, "Today's forecast is bright and sunny with an 80% chance that I'm wrong."
9. First cave man to 2nd cave man: "I don't care what you say. We never had such unusual weather before they started using bows and arrows."
8. Nate: "Hey, what's the weather like out there?" Kate: "I don't know. I'll tell you when it clears."
7. Why did the lady go out doors with her purse open? Because she expected some change in the weather.
6. It's a bit "muggy" in New York today.
5. There's a technical term for a sunny, warm day which follows two rainy days. It's called Monday.
4. A postcard home: The weather is here. Wish you were beautiful.
3. Two Viking invaders are trudging up the beach in the pouring rain. One looks skywards and says, "So this is England. What's it like?" The other snarls, "Well, if you like the weather, you'll love the food."
2. There was a communist named Rudolph. One day he looked out the window and said, "It looks like a storm is coming." "No it isn't," said his wife. "Besides, how would you know?" "Because," he responded, "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."
1. A weather forecaster took a job in another part of the country. When asked why he transferred he replied, "The weather didn't agree with me."
