What a week

R

rpmallen

Guest
I've been offline the past week to take care of some personal issues. I don't know if anyone noticed me gone or not, but I did want to let everyone know I'm still around.

Where have I been? Well, let's put it this way. Has anyone ever had a friend who has been suicidal? Has anyone themself ever been suicidal? I know it's a touchy subject that usually isn't discussed, but i'm just curious.

My best friend has a chemical imbalance and a history of depression. Every day is a living nightmare for her, and I try to be there for her and comfort her. I'm also always afraid for her safety, b/c I know she is the type of person that doesn't try to commit suicide for attention, she just honestly wants to die to make the pain stop.

Our friendship has endured things that most friendships should never have to go through. Monday was the hardest time though. She made a mistake that night and woke up that morning. She had left me a message that night saying goodbye, and drove two hours to go check up on her.

She's in the hospital now and I'm not sure when she's going to be coming out, but hopefully everything will work out. She means a lot to me and I've never regretted helping her.

Damn, what a week. Whoever said life is easy should be taken out into the street and shot.
 
Sounds like she is lucky to have a friend like you rpmallen.I have dealt with this problem in my family.It is far from easy.Hang in there my friend.
 
We're here for you rpm and don't hesitate to use us. I understand completely what you are going through. As bunch said, hang in there buddy.
 
rpm, she is damn lucky to have you as a friend. Stay strong for her, but remember to think of yourself also. You will not do her any good if you run yourself down. I have never been through anything like you are going thru, but it sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders. Hope she gets better soon!

In our thoughts and prayers.
 
I lost a friend to a self inflicted 12 guage blast to the stomach. He was 22.

I lost a parolee to a self inflicted .38 shot to the head. He was 24.

I also worked 5 years as a mental health therapist, and in that time dealt with dozens of serious suicide and homicide attempts. I worked with a man who decapitated a psychiatrist in his office. I dealt with a man who walked the streets of the roughest housing project in town with an automatic rifle and two gunbelts over his shoulder, bandito-style, daring anyone to come out and stop him. I put down Christmas presents one Christmas morning to go take a knife away from a man's girlfriend's throat he was holding there. I've pulled them in from windows, off bridges, and from the rooftop of our office bulding when they were going to jump. I took a knife away from a man and washed his blood off it after he slit his wrists with it.

I say all that to say this. The road you have taken is not a pleasant one. But it is rewarding beyond belief to have a hand in helping another person literally change their life. She is lucky to have someone such as yourself to do what you have done. So many never do.

Just know that she has a disease. Nothing more. Nothing less. As with any disease, some days are better than others. As with any disease, the visible symptoms are there. But what makes this disease worse is what you or I cannot see.

I hope she recovers. I also hope you'll still be there for her regardless. Hats off to you.
 
Rpm, I did notice you were gone. I worked on a suicide hotline for several years. It sounds like you are doing exactly what you need to...being a good friend. But also remember you can not be there if you yourself are emotional or physically drained, so take some time for yourself each day, even if it is just a few minutes on the forums. Like Buckaroo said, use us. I haven't been on here long but I can tell there are alot of intelligent, caring people here.
My prayers are with you and your friend
 
Rpm, as the others have said, I'm here for you. I too, have had experience dealing with friends in need. Take comfort in knowing your friend is safe and getting the help she needs. I will continue to pray for her and for you......Remember to take time for yourself. ...The forum is open 24/7....just pull up a keyboard....we'll be listening.
 
rpm, we are here for you even if it's not responded to you right away.
I was married to a man who threateaned suicide very often. Certainly not easy to live with for him or me.

You are a good friend to be there for her, but don't let it take control of who you are. We all want you to lean on us if you need to.

Good thoughts and prayers to you both.
 
I hope everything turns out ok and I also hope she understands what a good friend she has. Thank you for caring, because some would not.:( Take care of yourself and keep us posted.
 
As you know rpm, my thoughts are with you and your friend. As you know and others may not, I have suffered with depression and sucidal thoughts almost my entire life.

I really hope she gets better and that even if things are never as good as they could be that they get good enough so that suicide doesn't seem like the only way out. It is a dark path and one that seems like will never get better. Hopefully for her, it will get better. It will be a long road for her and hopefully one day it will be one that has a light at the end. I really hope things get better for her and that even if her depression eventually comes back after getting through it this time that she will have the strength and courage to get through it again. But hopefully once she gets through this she won't have to go through it again.

I will be thinking of her and you and wishing/praying for the best. She is lucky to have a friend like you in these times. Being depressed is so horrible that if you haven't been down that road, it is hard to describe. Maybe someone else could, I can't. But being alone and depressed with no one to care or stop me from trying things was even more so. One friend that knew and would have been supportive like you are would have been amazing.

You know how to get in touch with me if you ever want to talk. I really hope that people realize that depression is a disease and shouldn't be a stigma. It sounds like there are some amazing and understanding people on this board.

mis-fit ( I am willing to help you drag the person who said life was easy out in the street. Just as long as I can kick him a few times.)

ETA: I hope I made sense. It is kinda a subject I am working on to try to be more eloquent about. It took a long time before I could even say to other people that I had depression and that medicine that is made fun of saved me along with lots of therapy, of course.
 
I just wanted to thank each and every one of you for your comments. It really helps hearing what all of you had to say and about some of your personal experiences with this topic.

To update everyone, we were able to get my friend to the hospital without further incident. The pair of 5 slashes down her wrists told most of the story, and it wasn't too hard getting her into the hospital.

I have been on the phone with her every day to get an update and to remind her how much I care about her. They are trying her on new medications, some that make her feel sick, but some new ones that might actually help her. Her parents have called her college professors and they have excused her absense. We've even helped sign up for an apartment for next year b/c we know she was really worried about not being able to get one.

We're trying to give her another leg to stand on when she gets out. We're not going to give up on her. I told her 5 years ago when I saved her life that I was in this for the long run, and I've shown her that I was not joking.

Thanks again for everyone's support.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom