Some of these are pretty funny...
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." --
Winston Churchill
-------------------------------------------------------
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great
pleasure." -- Clarence Darrow
-------------------------------------------------------
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the
dictionary." -- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
-------------------------------------------------------
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." --
Groucho Marx
-------------------------------------------------------
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I
approved of it." --
Mark Twain
-------------------------------------------------------
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." --
Oscar Wilde
-------------------------------------------------------
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a
friend... If you have one." --
George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill...
followed by Churchill's response:
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second, if there is
one." --
Winston Churchill
-------------------------------------------------------
"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." --
Stephen Bishop
-------------------------------------------------------
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." --
John Bright
-------------------------------------------------------
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
--
Irvin S. Cobb
-------------------------------------------------------
"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." --
Samuel Johnson
-------------------------------------------------------
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." --
Paul Keating
-------------------------------------------------------
"He had delusions of adequacy." --
Walter Kerr
-------------------------------------------------------
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on
it?" --
Mark Twain
-------------------------------------------------------
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." --
Mae West
-------------------------------------------------------
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." --
Oscar Wilde
-------------------------------------------------------
Lady Astor once remarked to Winston Churchill at a Dinner Party,
"Winston, if you were my husband, I would poison your coffee!"
Winston replied, "Madam if I were your husband I would drink it!"
--
--------------------------------------------------------
"You believe that you live in the world, when in fact the world lives in
you."
~ Unknown
--------------------------------------------------------
"This above all, to thine own self be true; and it must follow, as the
night the day, thou canst not then be false to any one."
-Shakespeare
--
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." --
Winston Churchill
-------------------------------------------------------
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great
pleasure." -- Clarence Darrow
-------------------------------------------------------
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the
dictionary." -- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
-------------------------------------------------------
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." --
Groucho Marx
-------------------------------------------------------
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I
approved of it." --
Mark Twain
-------------------------------------------------------
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." --
Oscar Wilde
-------------------------------------------------------
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a
friend... If you have one." --
George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill...
followed by Churchill's response:
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second, if there is
one." --
Winston Churchill
-------------------------------------------------------
"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." --
Stephen Bishop
-------------------------------------------------------
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." --
John Bright
-------------------------------------------------------
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
--
Irvin S. Cobb
-------------------------------------------------------
"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." --
Samuel Johnson
-------------------------------------------------------
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." --
Paul Keating
-------------------------------------------------------
"He had delusions of adequacy." --
Walter Kerr
-------------------------------------------------------
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on
it?" --
Mark Twain
-------------------------------------------------------
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." --
Mae West
-------------------------------------------------------
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." --
Oscar Wilde
-------------------------------------------------------
Lady Astor once remarked to Winston Churchill at a Dinner Party,
"Winston, if you were my husband, I would poison your coffee!"
Winston replied, "Madam if I were your husband I would drink it!"
--
--------------------------------------------------------
"You believe that you live in the world, when in fact the world lives in
you."
~ Unknown
--------------------------------------------------------
"This above all, to thine own self be true; and it must follow, as the
night the day, thou canst not then be false to any one."
-Shakespeare
--