Why teachers go crazy

paul

paul

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TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS: George!
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TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WILLY: Me!
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SUBSTITUTE TEACHER: Are you chewing gum?
BILLY: No, I'm Billy Anderson.
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TEACHER: Didn't you promise to behave?
STUDENT: Yes, Sir.
TEACHER: And didn't I promise to punish you if you didn't?
STUDENT: Yes, Sir, but since I broke my promise, I don't expect you to keep yours.
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TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground then you are.
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HAROLD: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn't do?
TEACHER: Of course not.
HAROLD: Good, because I didn't do my homework.
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TEACHER: Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
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TEACHER: I hope I didn't see you looking at Don's paper.
JOHN: I hope you didn't either.
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MOTHER: Why did you get such a low mark on that test?
JUNIOR: Because of absence.
MOTHER: You mean you were absent on the day of the test?
JUNIOR: No, but the kid who sits next to me was.
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SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.
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TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".
ELLEN: I is...
TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."
ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
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TEACHER: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?
VINCENT: One dollar.
TEACHER(sadly): You don't know your arithmetic.
VINCENT(sadly): You don't know my father.
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TEACHER: If I had seven oranges in one-hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?
CLASS COMEDIAN: Big hands!
 
:ROFLMFAO: :ROFLMFAO: :lol2: :xxrotf: :xxrotf:

Some Of them remind me of one of my friends.

teacher "checkers your relly getton on my nerves"
Checker "your getting on my to Mr Samson"

teacher "do ya'll mind if i open the door?"
Checkers "sure, just make you you close it on your way out"

*checkers is what he goes by, because he had a checker board shaved on his head at one time in football camp*
 
Originally posted by paul
TEACHER: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?
VINCENT: One dollar.
TEACHER(sadly): You don't know your arithmetic.
VINCENT(sadly): You don't know my father.
Click to expand...


Oh man, that one is great!!! LMAO
 
Naw the real reason they go crazy is cause i am a student
 
The teacher announced they were going to do a thinking exercise and walked out of the classroom with a large paper bag. When she returned, she had her hands behind her back and said, "I have something that is round and red and grows on a tree".
Johnny yelled, "It's an apple, it's an apple".

The teacher pulled her hand from behind her back and said, "no Johnny, it's a cherry, but that shows you've been thinking".

She left the room again and returned with her hand behind her back and said, "this time I have something that is not quite round, but it is sour and it too grows on a tree".

Johnny yelled, "It;s a lemon, it's a lemon".

The teacher took her hand from behind her back and said " It's a lime, but that shows you've been thinking".

Johnny asked if he could try to make the class think and the teacher figured it was a good idea, so Johnny left the room. He returned a minute or two later with his hand in his pants pocket, stood in front of the class and said, "I have something in my hand that is round, it's hard, and it's about four inches long".

The teacher jumped up, grabbed Johnny and said, "we don't do things like that in class"!!!

A surprised Johnny looked up, pulled his hand from his pocket and said, "Gee, it's only a nail teacher. But that shows you've been thinking". :D
 
I emembered after posting the joke the punch line goes like this. Johnny said "I have something in my hand that is round, hard about four inches long and has a head on it".

I hate people who screw up the punch line of a good joke but hope forgiveness will come my way as I am offering the excuse it has been several years since I began collecting social security and the stepcase to the room housing my computer gets longer every day.

Besides, how many people do you know who would water thier grass on January 20th???? I mean grass of the fescue lawn type.:)
 
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