Wife jokes

[Benevolent One]

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming...

1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,

2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

- Patrick Murra



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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once....

- Nash



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You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

- Anonymous


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My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

- Henny Youngman


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A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

- Rodney Dangerfield


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A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'

- Anonymous


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First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'

Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'

- Anonymous


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[nascage]

Hope it's ok to add another. You may have heard this one:

Ten Dollars Is Ten Dollars

Fred and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year. Every year Fred would say, "Edna, I'd like to ride in that there airplane." And every year Edna would say, "I know Fred, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars."

One year Fred and Edna went to the fair and Fred said, "Edna, I'm 71 years old. If I don't ride that airplane this year I may never get another chance." Edna replied, "Fred that there airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars."

The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal. I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge you, but if you say one word it's ten dollars."

Fred and Edna agreed and up they go. The pilot does all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word is heard. He does all his tricks over again, but still not a word.

They land and the pilot turns to Fred, "By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't."

Fred replied, "Well, I was going to say something when Edna fell out of the plane, but ten dollars is ten dollars."