R
RoyalOrange
Guest
And now, for the seaon finale of As the Wheel Turns.....
This week, on our silly soap box opera, we will reflect on some of the unanswered questions of the past season, as well as hear some cliff-hanging questions for 2003:
Was Jimmy really ready? And just what was he ready for? Was he ready for Chad to drop the f-bomb on national TV? Did Jimmy "Jolly Pirate" ever forget? Did Steve Park remember? How many Kurt Busch t-shirts were sold that read "I'm talking, and I can't shut up?"
Did Tony really shove his way into the championship? And shouldn't victory lane in Richmond be painted orange by now? Could all of the Viagra in the world, plus 25 points, have kept Mark from petering out? What really happened to Jr.'s head when he wore that doo-rag? Could it possibly have been an overindulgence of DMP Bootleg Beer? And could he just got ahead and BUY a new stereo for his race car? And just how fat IS Fatback McSwain? Has anyone ever learned just how to interpret Ward Burton? Will D.J. drive the big brown truck? And if he does, will he drive it straight to Las Vegas and kick Wayne Newton's ass? Has Johnny Benson finally gotten all of that popcorn out of his teeth?
Would "Rocky" Rudd really rather fight than switch? Can Jeff fit all that he has left into one of those featherlite trailers?
Can Ty Norris get any better looking? Has Mikey finally found the right track? And as we head into the long hard winter, the following burning questions should be pondered:
Will that girl finally switch from Octane 93 to Drakkar Noir?
Will Elliot Sadler's career melt on the track, and not in the pits? Will all of the WC drivers file assault charges against the champ, because of the ass-whoopin they got this year?
(sorry, just couldn't help it) Will Zippy be paid more for his baby-sitting skills as well? (again , sorry, but the truth is the truth, as much as I love Smoke) And now that Stacker 2 is ephedra free, will Kenny finally shut up? Whatever happened to Buckshot? What the hell does Britney Spears have to do with NASCAR, and why does she keep showing up? Who will be at the top of Larry Mac (my hero)'s color chart? And now that we all know Jamie Mc WHO????, will he keep his cool new haircut? Will someone please give Kenny Schrader a ride? Whom all will Kurt Busch consider decrepid old has-beens this year? Has Brooke even taken the RAZORS for God's sake?????????? Who will be the first victim of the year to become Bodined? And does having the right car really make all of the difference? How good will Tony and Bobby look in bowties? And will the final two questions of the season be answered:
Will Sterling stay in his car?????????
and
WHY THE HELL IS GREG BIFFLE SO UGLY?
Take some time and reflect this winter....you have about 88 days. As the Wheel Turns has been brought to you this seasons by the following proud sponsors:
Home Depot RoyalOrange Paint
Jolly Pirate Viagra
JR DooRags Fat Back suspenders
Burton Booties UPS (official brown truck of NASCAR)
Benson Toothpicks Rudd Steaks (for black-eye emergencies)
Featherlite Trailers (to store your "provisions")
Waltrip Trips Inc. (the official atlas of NASCAR)
Octane 93
Drakkar Noir (now in 5 gallon cans)
Zippadelli Babysitting Service
Stacker 2
NASCAR Games Inc. (look for out new puzzle game Where's Buckshot)
Gillette
Marlin Restrain Systems (to keep your driver intact, during accidents, as well as red flag situations, even in the new 3XXX large Spencer model)
and....as always.....
Dirty Mo Posse Bootleg Beer
Final note: Regular FOX, TNT, and NBC broadcasts will be interrupted in the event that special updates of As the Wheel Turns take place.
Until then.......
See yall in February.......
This week, on our silly soap box opera, we will reflect on some of the unanswered questions of the past season, as well as hear some cliff-hanging questions for 2003:
Was Jimmy really ready? And just what was he ready for? Was he ready for Chad to drop the f-bomb on national TV? Did Jimmy "Jolly Pirate" ever forget? Did Steve Park remember? How many Kurt Busch t-shirts were sold that read "I'm talking, and I can't shut up?"
Did Tony really shove his way into the championship? And shouldn't victory lane in Richmond be painted orange by now? Could all of the Viagra in the world, plus 25 points, have kept Mark from petering out? What really happened to Jr.'s head when he wore that doo-rag? Could it possibly have been an overindulgence of DMP Bootleg Beer? And could he just got ahead and BUY a new stereo for his race car? And just how fat IS Fatback McSwain? Has anyone ever learned just how to interpret Ward Burton? Will D.J. drive the big brown truck? And if he does, will he drive it straight to Las Vegas and kick Wayne Newton's ass? Has Johnny Benson finally gotten all of that popcorn out of his teeth?
Would "Rocky" Rudd really rather fight than switch? Can Jeff fit all that he has left into one of those featherlite trailers?
Can Ty Norris get any better looking? Has Mikey finally found the right track? And as we head into the long hard winter, the following burning questions should be pondered:
Will that girl finally switch from Octane 93 to Drakkar Noir?
Will Elliot Sadler's career melt on the track, and not in the pits? Will all of the WC drivers file assault charges against the champ, because of the ass-whoopin they got this year?
(sorry, just couldn't help it) Will Zippy be paid more for his baby-sitting skills as well? (again , sorry, but the truth is the truth, as much as I love Smoke) And now that Stacker 2 is ephedra free, will Kenny finally shut up? Whatever happened to Buckshot? What the hell does Britney Spears have to do with NASCAR, and why does she keep showing up? Who will be at the top of Larry Mac (my hero)'s color chart? And now that we all know Jamie Mc WHO????, will he keep his cool new haircut? Will someone please give Kenny Schrader a ride? Whom all will Kurt Busch consider decrepid old has-beens this year? Has Brooke even taken the RAZORS for God's sake?????????? Who will be the first victim of the year to become Bodined? And does having the right car really make all of the difference? How good will Tony and Bobby look in bowties? And will the final two questions of the season be answered:
Will Sterling stay in his car?????????
and
WHY THE HELL IS GREG BIFFLE SO UGLY?
Take some time and reflect this winter....you have about 88 days. As the Wheel Turns has been brought to you this seasons by the following proud sponsors:
Home Depot RoyalOrange Paint
Jolly Pirate Viagra
JR DooRags Fat Back suspenders
Burton Booties UPS (official brown truck of NASCAR)
Benson Toothpicks Rudd Steaks (for black-eye emergencies)
Featherlite Trailers (to store your "provisions")
Waltrip Trips Inc. (the official atlas of NASCAR)
Octane 93
Drakkar Noir (now in 5 gallon cans)
Zippadelli Babysitting Service
Stacker 2
NASCAR Games Inc. (look for out new puzzle game Where's Buckshot)
Gillette
Marlin Restrain Systems (to keep your driver intact, during accidents, as well as red flag situations, even in the new 3XXX large Spencer model)
and....as always.....
Dirty Mo Posse Bootleg Beer
Final note: Regular FOX, TNT, and NBC broadcasts will be interrupted in the event that special updates of As the Wheel Turns take place.
Until then.......
See yall in February.......
Very funny stuff as usual.