[B]Could use some thoughts and prayers[/B]

W

WNY24Fan

Guest
So you all know my mom died in March. Well since then, my dad has gone downhill rapidly. He went from living independantly to being in the hospital the month of May, to a nursing home at the beginning of June. He is failing fast and we are meeting with a hospice coordinator in an hour. He hasn't walked since he went in the hospital and has basically quit eating. He's skin and bones. He wanted no tube feedings, etc. The last he spoke to me was on Sunday and a little on Monday. Prior to that I could barely understand him if at all or he doesn't wake up or acknowledge we're even there.

I also got a call this morning from the floor nurse that my dad had a "fainting spell" as they tried to get him up. They were unable to get an oxygen level on him and he was breathing rapidly. They put him back to bed on oxygen and gave him some comfort medication for the difficulty breathing. He has advanced directives an only wants comfort care.

I just pray he makes it through until Tuesday when my 2nd oldest brother and his family get back from Oregon. They're visiting their oldest son. Even though there's nothing he can do and he saw Dad almost daily, I don't want him to feel bad that he hasn't seen him since last week. We know in our hearts it's best for him and we told my brother not to change his plans and we had also agreed no one would call me while I was at The Glen 8/8-8/10 since there will be nothing I can do either.

It's hittng me now even though I've been saying it all along myself, that I'm at peace with him going to be with Mom. That's what he wants. It's just knowing it's imminent and how much our lives have changed in such a short time, I know it's going to probably really hit us when there's time to breathe and it sinks in. We've just been "going and going" taking care of Dad since Mom died, we've never really had the time to grieve. It's different knowing it's coming than when it actually happens. We had parents and a happy family home to visit just a few months ago. Now it's a house with their things in it. Anyway, thanks in advance.
 
I'm so sorry things haven't improved with your dad. You and your family have been in my thoughts and prayers. Continued prayers for all of you. God Bless
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I know what you're going through, WYN.

My stepfather just lost the will to continue after he fell and broke his hip.

I know you've done all that's humanly possible, but sometimes it just isn't enough. Don't tear yourself apart over something you cannot prevent.

You and the family will be in my thoughts.
 
so sorry to here about your dad.when my dad died 13 yrs ago i was just 21. he seldom got sick.so when he was diagnosed w/colon cancer,had the surgery we thought all would be fine when he got home.the stitches didn't hold,his intestines popped and he died of peratinitis.he was diagnosed sept.28,operated 0ct 28 (grandpa who was murdered b-day) and died nov.15.if you take the first letter of each month it spells S O N.i still think of him and wish he were here to give me advice.have to take it one day at a time.

he knows you are there for him.be strong and hang in there.will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
 
God and Dad had other plans

Thank you for the thoughts and prayers. My father passed away at 4pm EDT today. My brother and I were there and had been sitting with him. My brother went to go out to make a phone call, I went and opened the window and when I came back to my chair I couldn't tell if he was breathing. A nurse had just left the room, giving him a permanent oxygen machine. I felt his chest and couldn't feel anything, tried to find a pulse and couldn't, felt his chest again and I was sure he was gone. I went and got the nurse and she confirmed he had passed. I'm rather numb and in a fog. I'm sure it will all hit sooner or later. What to do with all my time now? Oh yeah - there will be LOTS to do. Not only do we have the usual legal, etc., but we have to clean out and sell their house of 53 yrs.

He's with my Mom now and that's what he wanted. We'll wait to make arrangements until my other brother gets back Monday night - have an appointment with the funeral home Tuesday morning. We probably won't have the service until next weekend since he's being cremated. He went peacefully and I'm happy to know he was in no pain.

It was devine intervention. I wouldn't have gone as early to see him had we not met with the hospice nurse. We had just set up care with an aide to stay with him from 11pm until 7am. I'm glad we were there and also that the last visit my brother his wife who are away had, was one of his lucid moments. They can remember him that way. A priest had come in to annoint another patient and so he was able to pray over him soon after he passed. Divine intervention, indeed.

Thanks again.
 
God took him home to be with your mom. I'm so glad you were there to give him ease.

It will hurt for a while, but, time will ease the pain of loss.

Get some rest, and know that you did all you could.
 
Sorry fro your loss, the tough part is yet to come when you and your family have to go through stuff in the house and then sell. That's when everything sinks in, hope you get through everything smoothly, my best to you and your family.
 
Try to take comfort in the fact that your parents are together again. You and your family will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.
 
so sorry for your loss.know that you were blessed to be with him when he went and did all you could for him.your parents may not be here physically but they are together watching over you.take one day at a time.we are here for you.my prayers and thoughts are with you and your family.
 
I am really sorry to hear about your loss. It is a terrible thing to go through. My wife lost her father while caring for her mother who was battling cancer. Her mother lost her fight with cancer and died a few months after her husband of 40+ years did. It was brutal on those of us left behind. I will pray for your family.
 
Sorry to hear of your loss. My mother is in the hospital right now with her kidneys shutting down, and something else they are not sure of what it is. She had a bone marrow test done 2 days ago, the night she had it done she got very bad. Not to sure how the out come will be. She just does not want to go on. Not to mention, both my grandparents on her side are getting ready to pass... My brother got divorced, and my cousin lost his 4 week old son...all in the past month. This has been one trying month for us. But the only way to look at it is that G_D is looking to bring them all back to their true home...
 
TAYLORFAN44 said:
Sorry to hear of your loss. My mother is in the hospital right now with her kidneys shutting down, and something else they are not sure of what it is. She had a bone marrow test done 2 days ago, the night she had it done she got very bad. Not to sure how the out come will be. She just does not want to go on. Not to mention, both my grandparents on her side are getting ready to pass... My brother got divorced, and my cousin lost his 4 week old son...all in the past month. This has been one trying month for us. But the only way to look at it is that G_D is looking to bring them all back to their true home...
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Wow. You and your will be in my prayers also.
 
TAYLORFAN44 said:
Sorry to hear of your loss. My mother is in the hospital right now with her kidneys shutting down, and something else they are not sure of what it is. She had a bone marrow test done 2 days ago, the night she had it done she got very bad. Not to sure how the out come will be. She just does not want to go on. Not to mention, both my grandparents on her side are getting ready to pass... My brother got divorced, and my cousin lost his 4 week old son...all in the past month. This has been one trying month for us. But the only way to look at it is that G_D is looking to bring them all back to their true home...
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You and your family will be in my prayers, too.
 
just got word, my moms blood pressure dropped to around 40 last night, with a temp of 105... nurses only gave her more pain meds. her doctor didnt even tell her they were looking for a cause, just told her to hang in there and they will keep her doped up...

BUT, her normal dr. got her moved to a better hospital... dam money hungary ba&*@Rd$....
 
Oh, I'm so sorry about your mom and all your family has gone through recently. I'll be praying for your mom, you and your family. It's hard feeling like a punching bag, isn't it when it's one thing after another?

Thanks to everyone for you thoughts and prayers. I'm sort of in a fog and really tired, but not sleeping that well. I do a pretty good job of dozing off when there's something I want to watch on TV or try to read all the boards I frequent. Then I get up and go to bed and I can't get back to sleep easily.

Hang in there TaylorsFan. One minute at a time, one hour at a time, one day at a time.....

BTW: My mother was in kidney failure in 2002 and lived another 6 1/2 years on medication alone. They thought she'd need dialysis, but she never did. I hope your Mom starts getting better very soon.
 
THANKS WNY24...

Didnt mean to hijack your thred though... I was just trying to share what I was going thru also and let ya know ya wern't alone in these hard times. I know how ya feel about the sleep thing. I havent had no more then maybe 12 hours of sleep in the past 3 days. Not to mention I gave blood the other day. Yea, thats a real good idea with no sleep LOL But hey, never know when someone may need my type :D A+
 
TAYLORFAN44 said:
THANKS WNY24...

Didnt mean to hijack your thred though... I was just trying to share what I was going thru also and let ya know ya wern't alone in these hard times. I know how ya feel about the sleep thing. I havent had no more then maybe 12 hours of sleep in the past 3 days. Not to mention I gave blood the other day. Yea, thats a real good idea with no sleep LOL But hey, never know when someone may need my type :D A+
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Don't you worry one bit about "hijacking" any thread. I never thought of it that way at all. It's a good thing when we're all going through hard times to know we can come to a place like this, share and support one another. Please keep us updated on your Mom. It is good to know you're not alone because sometimes you feel like life is breezing by for lots of people and you're on the outside looking in. It's not like you want anyone else going through anything bad, of course! And it helps to get support from whomever, hard times or not. I firmly believe that's how we make it through life in this world. Hang in there.
 
WNY24Fan said:
Don't you worry one bit about "hijacking" any thread. I never thought of it that way at all. It's a good thing when we're all going through hard times to know we can come to a place like this, share and support one another. Please keep us updated on your Mom. It is good to know you're not alone because sometimes you feel like life is breezing by for lots of people and you're on the outside looking in. It's not like you want anyone else going through anything bad, of course! And it helps to get support from whomever, hard times or not. I firmly believe that's how we make it through life in this world. Hang in there.
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Amen, I sometimes think I've lost my mind. I almost quit posting when India died, but have found some great support and prayers from here.
 
Since I was away for so long (until Steve-magnethead) brought me back...[forgot site addy and login :D]) Who was India?

And thanks WYN!!! Makes me feel better :D I aint heard much on her since we got her moved to another place. My wife talked to her this morning but I was so exausted, I cant remember what she told me.... All I know, is her crones(SP) is playing havac on her as well as kidneys. Bout all I can say at this time.

As far as loosing one's mind... I have. It is not anything to play with. I spent a week in the luny ward of a hospital. It took me 3-4 days to even speak to anyone. I just shut down to the world. I had several different people trying to take my kids away. When all was said and done, I just couldnt stand the fact that someone could do that, and I would have to go on with out them. Some nice family members I have is all I'll say. And they dont even talk to me... weired
 
My thoughts and prayers for you and the family, WNY. Take comfort in the knowledge that your mom and dad will be together forever.
 
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