(Clears throat so he may be clearly heard.)
WHAT A HYPOCRITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That buffoon is the very REASON the plates are in use. I swear upon everything I hold sacred, if there is a bigger idiot alive than Jaws, his name is Al Gore. Would anyone mind if a small camoflage-clad consortium of dedicated race fans just took this jerk out? Every time he opens his prodigious mouth, he just makes a bigger ass of himself. We have plates today because JAWS COULD NOT KEEP UP WITH BILL ELLIOTT. P E R I O D.
(pauses to take blood pressure medicine)
Jaws is the poster child for repealing the free speech amendment. Can we not find someone to build him a race truck so he could stay busy and maybe spend a little time away from a microphone or a keyboard? WHO CARES WHAT HE THINKS? WHO CARES WHAT HE HAS TO SAY? He wouldn't know s**t if he had his mouth full of it. This is like Bill Clinton calling for closer scrutiny of elected officials; create a problem then whine about it. True, the smaller fuel cells won't solve the problem - even a total waste of internal organs like Jaws can figure that one out. But his whining about the field being bunched up galls me to the core of my being. The field wasn't bunched up before he cried like the baby he is to NASCAR about, and I quote the jackass himself, "Nobody can keep up with Bill, and I'm tired of looking at the rear end of that number nine Ford." Now he's on TV, and his story changes because very few of taday's fans remember his hissy fit. Well, buddy boy, I do. And as long as I have breath, I will call you the hypocrite you are.
Sorry all, it's either go off on him in here or have a stroke.