Father dislikes Daughter

Tough love.....but kids are like this now, and will only get worse...it's all about me. I loved when he shot the laptop:cheers:Nice shot group
 
While the daughter was wrong, so was the father. Two wrongs don't make a right. That family should have tried to find out why there is so much anger on both sides. Escalating the situation publicly, and embarrassing the daughter solves nothing. In fact, it makes it worse. Does anyone think she could sit with her parents and try to come to any understanding after this? There is a lot of hate on both sides. The daughter is acting out as a teenager might do but the father is over reacting. I feel bad for them both because the chances for reconciliation were reduced 99% after the fathers public display and if anyone knows this family, my guess is to look for the daughter to get pregnant or use some other means of rebellion.
And to think the possibility this might have been smoothed over if they had, rather than continue to butt heads, sought professional help. No one ever said raising children was an easy task and there are times when a good old fashioned smack on the butt is necessary, but this situation needed more than a hard-assed father being disrespectful to a confused hard-assed teenager daughter who was disrespectful to her parents. This was a two way street with troubled teenagers and a father unwilling to understand.
 
Whizzer said:
While the daughter was wrong, so was the father. Two wrongs don't make a right. That family should have tried to find out why there is so much anger on both sides. Escalating the situation publicly, and embarrassing the daughter solves nothing. In fact, it makes it worse. Does anyone think she could sit with her parents and try to come to any understanding after this? There is a lot of hate on both sides. The daughter is acting out as a teenager might do but the father is over reacting. I feel bad for them both because the chances for reconciliation were reduced 99% after the fathers public display and if anyone knows this family, my guess is to look for the daughter to get pregnant or use some other means of rebellion.
And to think the possibility this might have been smoothed over if they had, rather than continue to butt heads, sought professional help. No one ever said raising children was an easy task and there are times when a good old fashioned smack on the butt is necessary, but this situation needed more than a hard-assed father being disrespectful to a confused hard-assed teenager daughter who was disrespectful to her parents. This was a two way street with troubled teenagers and a father unwilling to understand.
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You could go into politics with that answer. lol
 
Later mom came home and this was overheard. "You dumb a$$ f#&$ that was a f&^$ing expensive computer YOU F&^%ING IDIOT"
 
I like how tens of thousands of people got so upset about this, saying he was taking it too far and doing irreparable emotional damage to her. Everybody's a psychologist all of a sudden. Only her and her parents can truly know what kind of parenting will work, what will damage her, etc.

I think I'd have done the same thing if I were in his shoes. It's important for a parent to follow-up on a warning like "I'll put a bullet in it," or all credibility goes out the window. My parents were pretty good at that on me.

Of course, back in my day, things were simpler. It's hard to believe how much has changed in that short time. There was no Facebook, so my options for venting were limited to phone calls, BBS postings over dialup, and whoever heard me yelling. And taking my massive computer out to the backyard and shooting it would have involved a forklift (or a hernia) and some armor piercing rounds. So, the warnings were simpler. "I'll beat your ass!" and such.

These days, kids have an instant global audience with Facebook, YouTube, smartphones, etc., thus, they have infinitely more things to distract them from the values being instilled by their parents. The Internet age seems to inflame every kind of rebellion, teen or otherwise. So, sometimes measures have to be a bit more drastic to get the message through. She posted her rant on Facebook instead of talking to her parents about it, so he posted his response on Facebook. An eye for an eye.

I took a look at the guy's Facebook wall to see if he had posted any follow-ups, and sure enough, there it is. http://www.facebook.com/tommyjordaniii

Here's a snippet that, to me, proves the efficiency and effectiveness of his approach in this case:

Later after she’d had time to process it and I’d had time to process her thoughts on the matters we discussed, we were back to a semi-truce… you know that uncomfortable moment when you’re in the kitchen with your child after an argument and you’re both waiting to see which one’s going to cave in and resume normal conversation first? Yeah, that moment. I told her about the video response and about it going viral and about the consequences it could have on our family for the next couple of days and asked if she wanted to see some of the comments people had made. After the first few hundred comments, she was astounded with the responses.

People were telling her she was going to commit suicide, commit a gun-related crime, become a drug addict, drop out of school, get pregnant on purpose, and become a stripper because she’s too emotionally damaged now to be a productive member of society. Apparently stripper was the job-choice of most of the commenters. Her response was “Dude… it’s only a computer. I mean, yeah I’m mad but pfft.” She actually asked me to post a comment on one of the threads (and I did) asking what other job fields the victims of laptop-homicide were eligible for because she wasn’t too keen on the stripping thing.
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It points out that he is not just ignoring her concerns & being an a**hole -- he's being a parent and listening. He did this to make sure that she listened too.

So, she apparently got the message without any of the emotional damage that people are worried about. Her parents have known her for 15 years longer than anybody else, so I don't believe anyone would have come up with a better response to her outburst than that.

Can you imagine if one of these psychologists had gotten to him before he made the video, then put them all through some long drawn out family therapy program?

A laptop, $130 of software, and 9 $1 bullets sounds awfully cheap by comparison.
 
Laptops aren't cheap, wait until he realizes that he should not have done that part.
 
Compared to taking himself, her, her mother, and maybe even her stepmother to therapy and spending weeks or months, and thousands of dollars, talking about things? I'd call a laptop pretty cheap. And doing that stunt got her talking to him right off the bat, which might just be worth more than anything money can buy. Besides, she will end up paying for the replacement, so he's not out any more money.
 
kkfan91 said:
Later mom came home and this was overheard. "You dumb a$$ f#&$ that was a f&^$ing expensive computer YOU F&^%ING IDIOT"
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Apparently you didn't watch the video.MOM told HIM to put a bullet in the comp.from her for the comment the girl made about mom.
 
Next time, she'll buy a Panasonic Toughbook. :growl:

kkfan91 said:
Laptops aren't cheap, wait until he realizes that he should not have done that part.
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There isn't a dollar amount on principle. He promised to put a bullet through her laptop if she acted up on facebook again, which she did. He kept his promise -- nine times. :growl:
 
I like this guy. From his Facebook.


Tommy Jordan
18 minutes ago near Albemarle, NC
Update:
This may come as a wild shock to some.. wait for it.. wait.... (I need that guy who did the awesome HD youtube parody to do me an intro here. Where is he when I need him?)

I'm NOT a hero... of ANY kind... at all.
I'm not a super-dad, or awesome parent.

I'm a normal guy with reasonable a moral compass that I try very hard to keep pointed north. I make a LOT of mistakes. Did I say a LOT? ...I mean a WHOLE lot! Daily... sometimes hourly!

I'm extremely lucky to have a very strong wife who tolerates me and puts up with my mistakes, and who herself is strong enough that she can put me in my place with only a look.. no really.. you haven't seen her "I'm not kidding anymore" face... it's serious.
(For example I can apparently destroy a laptop and garnish world-wide attention in mere seconds, but I guarantee tomorrow morning my wife will say "Hey Chuck Norris. Make the freakin BED WILL YOU PLEASE" because I'll forget to.
(I have to admit the "Chuck Norris wears Tommy Jordan pajamas" comment will stay with me for the rest of my life. I want that on a bumper sticker!)

I'm lucky to have great kids (two of them) who look up to me despite all my mistakes.
I make bad parenting decisions all the time. We all do. Personally, I stand behind the decision I made earlier this week by posting the video. I don't find fault with it. If I had it to do again... let's see... I'd do it almost the same.

I'd not be smoking a cigarette. (That's a habit I promised my wife I'd quit as soon as I could afford to just go out and buy a Chantix prescription. She absolutely hates it and I'm getting mature enough to want to quit it for my own reasons as well.)

I'd not have used the word "ass" in my comment directed at my daughter. That was rude and a bad example of a parent using the "Do as I say, not as I do" philosophy

I'd have worn my Silverbelly Stetson, not my Tilley hat if I'd known that image was going to follow me the rest of my life and I'd probably have cleaned my boots.

That's it. I meant all the rest of it. My wife is OK with it. My daughter is OK with it. My Mother is OK with it. I'm OK with it. We're the only ones that matter.
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For those that feel the need to keep calling the police and CPS. lol

Apparently both the local police and the department of social services are OK with it. Yes they came. Of course they came. They received enough "Oh my god he's going to kill his daughter" comments that they had to. I knew that the moment it went viral.. it was too late and it was inevitable. I'm only surprised it took as long as it did to be honest.

The police by the way said "Kudos, Sir" and most of them made their kids watch it. I actually had a "thank you" from an entire detectives squad. And another police officer is using it in a positive manner in his presentation for the school system. How's about those apples? Didn't expect THAT when you called the cops did you?

The kind lady from Child Protective Services looked all through the house, the yard, and found ours to be a healthy home. She saw the unloaded guns in their rack with the magazines removed and stored separately and safely. Funny thing: The case officer asked to see "the gun".... "Umm, sir, may I see the actual..umm.. weapon used for the video?" She wasn't at all scared of me but I could tell she doesn't like guns as a general rule. To each their own though. She was comfortable that I was adhering to NC gun safety regulations for the protection of minors, and that's all she needed. But of course if you want to continue, I'm just going to leave a pot of coffee on for the next officers who come by. (Digress: Maybe I can get Krispy Kreme to sponsor me with lifetime donuts? Oh God that would be heaven. Dunkin? Crap... KK all the way....)

She asked if I minded if she interviewed my daughter privately but that I didn't have to agree. I let her meet in private and then she and I met for about an hour and a half. At the end of the day, no I'm not losing my kids, no one's in danger of being ripped from our home that I know of, and I actually got to spend some time with the nice lady and learn some cool parenting tips that I didn't know.. I use them on my 8 year old son, but not on my fifteen year old daughter.. but now I will! There were a few things I thought she was "too old" for, but after talking to the case worker, I feel like it's worth a shot to try them. Maybe I'll sell those secrets in my next book! (Seriously? You just got mad didn't you? I'm kidding. Besides, that would still only give me two pages of material- one parent tip page and one page on handgun selection techniques appropriate for different electronic destructive purposes.)

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Back to me being a normal guy... I digressed again.
You guys caught me on eight and a half minutes of ONE day in my life, probably the worst day in my life as a father. So, all in all, I consider the vast overwhelming show of support to be very very gratifying... that was me at my worst, not my best. If most of you found me OK as a Dad at that time, then I'm definitely OK the rest of the time. I was angry, hurt as hell, emotional as can possibly be, and stunned still. I'd taken an hour to compose myself, but apparently I should have waited longer.. and maybe used the .22 instead of the .45. (And since when does an 8 minute video EVER go viral? And maybe the next video I'll do will be auctioning the pistol I used.. that should buy some serious college tuition, but please understand that I will definitely use the profits to also purchase a replacement .45.)

I'd like to think that if a camera followed me around and filmed every moment of my life as a parent, most of you out there would still put me in the plus column. Truthfully most of you would probably be bored. I'm just ordinary. I was raised old fashioned, and I raise my kids the same way... the modern generational concepts be damned!
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And OK, so THAT brings me to a topic I'll close with, though I had no intention of speaking on it when I started this rant. (Hey, aren't the 25 thousand of you who subscribed really regretting it now? I'm always this scatter brained. Makes you wonder how I formed enough sensible sentences to write a book doesn't it? Then again... maybe that accounts for the book sales being in the toilet...)

So, my last point:
I've received a LOT of comments (and by lot you have to understand there's literally MILLIONS of them. I'll likely never be able to read them all in my lifetime) pointing out that I was raised old fashioned apparently that that I needed to learn to be a parent in today's world.

Umm.. is there a polite way to call bull***t!?

The kids today ARE self entitled, spoiled, adverse to working, and basically have NO usable skills taught to them in schools. (Yes some of you out there excel. If you've graduated high school and at least pay some of your own bills, then I'm not talking to you. If you however are 25 and live with your parents because you're too lazy to get a job, then yes, I'm talking to you. Half of that is the parent's fault for thinking that the school system is supposed to raise their kids. The other half is a parent's fault for letting our school systems get to the utterly pathetic state they are in. It's your kid.. so no matter what it's ALWAYS your fault.. get it?

I'll give you a real example from the NC school system. My daughter just finished Honors Geometry in school. Halfway through the semester she asks me "Dad, can you help me type this math problem into your graphing calculator? I can't get the equation to come out right." I said "sure" and went over to help out. The problem was about calculating the tangent of a line, but I can't remember the specifics of it at the moment. I took a look at it and said "Honey, why don't you just do the problem manually... you know, on a piece of paper? It's pretty easy."

She honestly looked at me like I was a complete idiot! "You can't do it with a pencil and paper, Dad. Sheesh!"

I stared at her dumbfounded. "Honey, you DO know that tangential math has been around since the 1600s, right? Over 500 years. Long BEFORE graphing calculators existed..., right?"
Her response was "Well, we're not taught that. We're just taught how to enter it into a calculator and get the right answer."

Absolutely SURE she must be crazy, I checked.... and she's right. HONORS mathematics at the high school level doesn't teach kids basic math principles. At all!!! If a modern honors geometry student had to calculate the distance of a line from the top of a flag pole to any point in space relative to the ground.. they have no idea how to do it. (How many of you just asked your kids to show you how to do that? Wait... how many more are Googling it right now? Stop. That's cheating.)

Further, almost every state now is taking "writing" out of schools. Kids are now being taught to print, and that's it. No need for actual writing because they all have computers. I'm NOT making this up! This is TRUE!! They learn the alphabetic characters... and nothing more. The age of eloquent thought borne by patient strokes of pen to paper... are gone like Rhett Butler's sex appeal.

So let me recap... you don't learn math, you don't learn to write actual words without the benefit of spell-check. You don't apparently learn grammar either because I've SEEN those text books and quizzes.. horrible.

Yet you want ME to stop raising MY child with old fashioned methods that actually made me fairly intelligent, capable of fending for myself, capable of managing money, holding a job, respecting my elders, etc?

So you can replace it with what? You want to teach kids it's OK to talk back to parents as long as they have the freedom to express themselves. You want to outlaw spankings. You've obviously made it OK for them to be stupid upon graduating high school. You've recently made it illegal for kids to work around any animal that can harm them under the age of 18, to include working in hay lofts, around dogs, or cats, horses, or cattle, etc. (Thanks for that law Obama.. idiot) You won't let them work in a restaurant that serves alcohol until 18 in most states. You won't let them work at ALL until 15 (It was 13 for me, but Dad lied and got me started when I was 12). When are they supposed to learn actual adult stuff exactly? When do they learn responsibility? No kid left behind? Pfft.. EVERY kid left behind! (Dang I'm mad now.. maybe I WILL run for President... no, wife already vetoed that one. I'd really love to though.. really, seriously!)

"Modern" parenting raises ill-prepared kids who can't do anything and have no skills because they're protected from even LEARNING them until 18 years old, at which time you want us parents to throw them out into the world, send them off to college, and expect them to be productive members of society? You can take your "modern" parenting, and shove it. Jeezus people. Half of you think chores at 15 are too much! God forbid we make them actually WORK too!

(packing my soapbox away and going to bed now)
 
Long story but my son and I had a disagreement. He moved out. He soon found out that the world is a cruel place. I know his mother helped him financially but also know he went to bed hungry more than once too. 8 months later, after running out of friends couchs to crash on, he decided my rules weren't that harsh afterall.
 
Seems like an awful lot of drama over a kid whining on facebook. He goes from no laptop for 3 months to installing new software as if he felt guilty over the punishment. What IT person spends half a day installing $130 worth of laptop software, then forgets to unregister it before shooting the thing? I also noticed he was so worked up he could barely breath. He really went to work on that sheet of paper too.

Bottom line, don't take it so personal when your teenager acts like a teenager. Those are the times when you teach your child how to deal with personal conflicts, and I wouldn't have wanted to teach that one. A gun has no place in family disputes. Period. The image was disturbing, and I would have preferred he used a hammer or something less lethal.

That said, this is clearly a guy who loves his daughter dearly and probably would never dream of raising a hand to her, so this was his outlet. She'll grow up and they'll be fine.
 
FenderBumper said:
What IT person spends half a day installing $130 worth of laptop software, then forgets to unregister it before shooting the thing?
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Assuming it is one of those things that activates, or was a download instead of a disk, some of that kind of stuff can't be unregistered. It probably slipped his mind in the heat of the moment. In any case, he probably didn't need the software himself, and by the time she affords a new laptop for school, there will be a few new versions of the software anyway, and maybe even a college/university discount she can take advantage of, rendering the old $130 of software useless. I remember Windows and Office CDs being $5 each at IUPUI, and free to download from MSDN Academic Alliance
 
fury said:
I remember Windows and Office CDs being $5 each at IUPUI, and free to download from MSDN Academic Alliance
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I remember the guy who set up fake school credentials and was retailing the discounted education versions. He made $5 million before they caught on.
 
JOHNSON COUNTY, Tenn. --​
Update, Feb. 9 9:36 am
http://www2.tricities.com/news/2012...on-county-double-murder-court-tod-ar-1673810/


The motive in a double murder in Johnson County last week is now becoming clearer, according to Sheriff Mike Reece and he says it all centers around Facebook.
Sheriff Reece told us this morning that friends of Billy Payne and Billy Jean Hayworth de-friended a woman named Jenelle Potter last month on the social networking site.
According to the sheriff, that woman is the daughter of Marvin Potter, Jr. and ex-girlfriend of Jamie Lynn Curd.
Sheriff Reece says after they de-friended her, Potter made a threat to the victims and two others on Facebook on January 13th or 14th. Investigators are now in the process of trying to subpoena that Facebook information.
According to the sheriff, the situation angered Potter's dad and that's what led to the murders of Payne and Hayworth, who were killed in front of their six month-old son.
Reece said Jenelle Potter has a history of getting angry when people de-friend her on Facebook.
“Apparently, she was on the internet all the time,” Reece said. “That was her life. When she was a friend with someone on Facebook and they removed her, she went ballistic. This is just a senseless thing. That’s no reason to kill people.”
According to court documents, on May 7, 2011, another woman actually took Potter to court. Lindsey Thomas filed a telephone harassment complaint against Potter.
“Jenelle Potter whom I’ve never met has been harassing me for months now,” Thomas said in her affidavit of complaint. “She has called my phone anywhere from 5-20 times a day. I have asked her on more than one occasion to quit calling me, but have had no luck. This all started because I deleted her off my Facebook. She continues to lie and say stuff about me all over her Facebook. I have proof of Phone calls and stuff on Facebook.”
To date, investigators have not charged Potter with any crime in regards to the double murder. However, Assistant District Attorney Matthew Roark said yesterday in court she is at the center of this murder investigation.
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