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EJL
Guest
> > Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering whom to invade next
> > when his telephone rang. "Hallo, Mr. Hussein!" a heavily accented
voice
> > said.
> > "This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Sligo, Ireland. I am
> > ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"
> >
> > "Well, Paddy," Saddam replied, "This is indeed important news! How
> > big is your army?"
> >
> > "Right now," said Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is myself,
> > my cousin Sean, my next door neighbor Seamus, and the entire dart
> > team from the pub. That makes eight!"
> >
> > Saddam paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have one million men in
> > my army waiting to move on my command."
> >
> > "Begorra!" said Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back!"
> >
> > Sure enough, the next day, Paddy called again. "Mr. Hussein, the war
> > is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
> >
> > "And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Saddam asked.
> >
> > "Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor."
> >
> > Saddam sighed. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 16,000 tanks and
> > 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to
> > 1-1/2 million since we last spoke."
> >
> > "Saints preserve us!" said Paddy. "I'll have to get back to you."
> >
> > Sure enough, Paddy rang again the next day. "Mr. Hussein, the war
> > is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've
> > modified Harrigan's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the
****pit,
> > and four boys from the Shamrock Pub have joined us as well!"
> >
> > Saddam was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must
> > tell you, Paddy, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes.
> >
> > My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air
missile
> > sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
> >
> > "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!" said Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back."
> >
> > Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. "Top o' the mornin', Mr.
> > Hussein! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war."
> >
> > "I'm sorry to hear that," said Saddam. "Why the sudden change of
heart?"
> >
> > "Well," said Paddy, "we've all had a long chat over several pints, and
> > decided there's no way we can feed two million prisoners."
> >
> > God Bless the Irish!
> >
> > when his telephone rang. "Hallo, Mr. Hussein!" a heavily accented
voice
> > said.
> > "This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Sligo, Ireland. I am
> > ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"
> >
> > "Well, Paddy," Saddam replied, "This is indeed important news! How
> > big is your army?"
> >
> > "Right now," said Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is myself,
> > my cousin Sean, my next door neighbor Seamus, and the entire dart
> > team from the pub. That makes eight!"
> >
> > Saddam paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have one million men in
> > my army waiting to move on my command."
> >
> > "Begorra!" said Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back!"
> >
> > Sure enough, the next day, Paddy called again. "Mr. Hussein, the war
> > is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
> >
> > "And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Saddam asked.
> >
> > "Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor."
> >
> > Saddam sighed. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 16,000 tanks and
> > 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to
> > 1-1/2 million since we last spoke."
> >
> > "Saints preserve us!" said Paddy. "I'll have to get back to you."
> >
> > Sure enough, Paddy rang again the next day. "Mr. Hussein, the war
> > is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've
> > modified Harrigan's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the
****pit,
> > and four boys from the Shamrock Pub have joined us as well!"
> >
> > Saddam was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must
> > tell you, Paddy, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes.
> >
> > My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air
missile
> > sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
> >
> > "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!" said Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back."
> >
> > Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. "Top o' the mornin', Mr.
> > Hussein! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war."
> >
> > "I'm sorry to hear that," said Saddam. "Why the sudden change of
heart?"
> >
> > "Well," said Paddy, "we've all had a long chat over several pints, and
> > decided there's no way we can feed two million prisoners."
> >
> > God Bless the Irish!
> >
:drinkA: :2gunsfiri :sniper: :awing: :chainsaw: 