Thanks, kat2220, being called sick is a compliment to me. I too admire others who appreciate and have sick minds. That cat picture is really funny too.
I am very sick so here are a few more thanks to the Tonight Show:
What did Hannibal Lecter say when he ordered the George Foreman grill? Keep the grill, give me George.
What does Hannibal Lecter call Anna-Nicole Smith?
An extra, extra value meal.
What does Hannibal Lecter call Whitney Houston and a scoop of ice cream? A coke float.
Why did Hannibal Lecter's doctor tell him to eat John Tesh? Because he's on a bland diet.
What did Hannibal Lecter get after he ate Carl Lewis?
The runs.
What does Hannibal Lecter call Michael Jackson?
The other white meat
What's the difference between Hannibal Lecter and Martha Stewart? One of them isn't in jail yet.
Why wouldn't Hannibal Lecter eat Joan Collins?
Because she's passed her expiration date.
What did Hannibal Lecter get kicked out of his apartment?
He put P. Diddy in a fry daddy.
What doesn't Hannibal Lecter eat Britney Spears?
Doesn't like artificial topping.
What does Hannibal Lecter call a supermodel from Wisconsin? A quarter-pounder with cheese.
What's Hannibal Lecter's favorite kind of Pepperidge Farm cookie? Alyssa Milano.
Why doesn't Hannibal Lecter eat Bill Gates?
Too rich.
What does Hannibal Lecter like with scrambled eggs?
Kevin Bacon.
What do Hannibal lecter and a frieght train have in common? They can both "Chew Chew" with people inside.
Why does Hannibal like a woman in a thong?
Because he can eat and floss at the same time.
What does Hannibal Lecter call the picture of the athlete on the Wheaties box? A serving size.
You know how Hannibal got straight "A’s" in school?
He buttered up the teacher.
The other day Hannibal was going to have shish-kabobs, but Bob never showed up.