Most Unsual Thing You've Ever Seen at the Track

kkfan91

kkfan91

52 tracks and counting
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Inspired by the 4 foot long black throated monitor lizard named Stank I sat next to tonight at BAPS Speedway, she has apparently been to 3 Knoxville Nationals

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My first race was the 2003 Brickyard 400. Some Hick in front of me told me he was abducted by aliens and started to take off his overalls to show me the scar on his ass. I was 11. My mother tore into him. That was after the checkered.

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jaqua19 said:
My first race was the 2003 Brickyard 400. Some Hick in front of me told me he was abducted by aliens and started to take off his overalls to show me the scar on his ass. I was 11. My mother tore into him. That was after the checkered.

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I mean, you don't get many opportunities to talk about your alien adubction.
 
SpeedPagan said:
I mean, you don't get many opportunities to talk about your alien adubction.
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Having to suffer the indignity of being thought of as someone who is lying about their abduction(s) is the worst part.

Hopefully the space troopers and space cadets can set up some up some international space law and order. We have so many scarred up people running around that are being silenced by the Alien NDAs, and with the cynicism expressed in the recent post.

My recommendation for the younger posters would be to ask your grandparents about their supposed surgical scars.
Once they finally admit to the abduction(s) they can begin to warn you about the local danger areas or local landing pads. They could also teach you about abduction prep, and how to entice an abduction if that's your thing.
 
DIDIT said:
Stripper pole dancing in back of a truck at Darlington.
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Ha I read the thread title and immediately started thinking of my own odd experiences...saw the same thing you did at New Hampshire almost 10 years ago...couple girls having a good 'ole time in a truck bed in front of us as we exited the lot. Luckily at that time there was still PLENTY of slow-moving post-race traffic!
 
We were attending one of the Coke 600's and as you know, Humpy was a genius at prerace fun.

Well, we had seen the military aircraft and copters do there thing and after that, there was a mobile outhouse, driver inside out of sight, on the front stretch running up and down the track. This outhouse had an exhaust port out of the back bottom of the outhouse, so, as he traveled up and back (at a pretty good clip) you could here loud farts coming from the outhouse, it was freaking hilarious. :XXROFL:
 
As far as a Cup race goes...New Hampshire 2014. This had us on the floor laughing. Very creative and accurate. Honorable mention would be at Bristol on the Friday in the fan festival area outside the track my buddy whispering in my ear "Is that Mike Helton?" and sure enough he was looking at the Bass Pro Shops boat display 10 feet from us with all the other unwashed masses. Not really odd but statistically unlikely to say the least!

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At short tracks if you name it I've seen it. Off the top of my head I've seen the mini track dryer break down and need a tow, a tow truck towing another tow truck towing a car both stuck in the mud, and the entire race in my signature link.
 
DIDIT said:
Stripper pole dancing in back of a truck at Darlington.
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Speedbowl14 said:
Ha I read the thread title and immediately started thinking of my own odd experiences...saw the same thing you did at New Hampshire almost 10 years ago...couple girls having a good 'ole time in a truck bed in front of us as we exited the lot. Luckily at that time there was still PLENTY of slow-moving post-race traffic!
Click to expand...

Keep posting, tickets sales will bounce back.
 
Greg said:
Having to suffer the indignity of being thought of as someone who is lying about their abduction(s) is the worst part.

Hopefully the space troopers and space cadets can set up some up some international space law and order. We have so many scarred up people running around that are being silenced by the Alien NDAs, and with the cynicism expressed in the recent post.

My recommendation for the younger posters would be to ask your grandparents about their supposed surgical scars.
Once they finally admit to the abduction(s) they can begin to warn you about the local danger areas or local landing pads. They could also teach you about abduction prep, and how to entice an abduction if that's your thing.
Click to expand...
I mean...truth be told, I believed in abduction growing up. Don't think I do anymore but I won't say it doesn't exist.

This guy was ****faced though lol

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Speedbowl14 said:
Ha I read the thread title and immediately started thinking of my own odd experiences...saw the same thing you did at New Hampshire almost 10 years ago...couple girls having a good 'ole time in a truck bed in front of us as we exited the lot. Luckily at that time there was still PLENTY of slow-moving post-race traffic!
Click to expand...
I was there and remember this! 2011? If not that's happened more than once there!
 
2 stand out --- both at Talladega

1. A pickup truck with 5 or 6 riders in the bed --- sitting around an open fire in the bed of the truck. NOT in any kind of container -- burning in the bed of the truck.
2. A guy standing at the BBQ grill at his camp. Naked except for an apron. Under the apron a 3 foot rubber ***** --- he proudly lifted the apron to make sure it was seen.
 
OldTimer said:
A woman giving birth on the main straight, on the hood of a race car, because the ambulance had rolled over coming out of the pits....
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Please tell me there's a newspaper clipping that comes along with this!
 
Standing around an area where drivers were walking and getting autographs.

Bob Saget rolls up in his golf cart and stares at everyone like a deer in the headlights. A lady asks “can I get...” and Bob cut her off to say “uh, no” and drove off.

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Circled area. Looks like race weekend actually , before they took out 3&4 grandstands.
 

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During an invitational Late Model race at 311 Speedway (some years back now), the promoter added a car from Florida that had not made the field for the feature race (probably because he came so far). That car wasn't handling, and its driver raced very frustrated and aggressive about it - got into a fender banging contest with a local (Noel Tucker). During a red flag for an unrelated incident, Tucker stopped (with the other cars) near the entrance to turn three. The Florida driver slowed down, took aim at Tucker, and floored it - nailing Trucker's car so hard that he flipped both of their cars over.

The unusual part: the tow truck driver wasn't too pleased, so without flipping the Florida car over he towed it still upside-down through turns three and four and out of the track to somewhere into the spectator parking lot. The Florida crew had to go find it and flip it back over themselves before loading to go home.
 
Texas in 2008. Partying at campgrounds some old guy was laughing so hard he crapped himself. He borrowed a pocketknife so he could go to the shower and cut his underwear off so he wouldn't have to try and slide them down. He came running back full speed five minutes later said we all needed to get over there because there were two dudes tag teaming some chick with the stall door open.

Passed on the offer but still a good weekend.
 
Speedbowl14 said:
Please tell me there's a newspaper clipping that comes along with this!
Click to expand...
Trying to locate an article. About 1974, at a dirt race track in northern Wisconsin....a woman came down from the stands and screamed through the fence as the feature cars were lined up on the track and they were doing driver introductions. The drivers were out of their cars and one started to point in the direction of the woman.

It was like watching a wreck starting on the back stretch as all eyes and heads turned to where the driver was pointing. The woman was clinging to the chain link fence her knees buckling underneath her. The announcer actually saw the cause first and yelled through the PA system, screaming for the ambulance. All the yellow lights started flashing and you could see the track workers turning red in the face as they frantically ran towards the woman...the flagman directed them to help her through the fence an on to the track....probably thinking it would be faster for the ambulance.

The emergency lights from the ambulance could be seen flashing as it made its way through the pits past the back straight...it came out the pit entrance by turn two, and instead of following the track through turn one, it made an abrupt right turn. I am guessing they thought they would cut through the middle of the infield...instead, a combination of the hard right, the high center of gravity, and the bank forming a negative camber....the ambulance ended up on it's side after doing a roll and a half down the track.

In the mean time...the track officials with the help of a couple of drivers picked the woman up and sat her on the fender of the car at the front of the line.

Everyone was looking at her as she clenched her obviously swollen belly and started to scream, just as the track announcer made it to her while still hooked up to the mike for the PA system. The words that came out of her mouth would make a truck driver blush.

That made the cop, who was guarding the now open fence door in front of the stands, look over his shoulder in the woman's direction. He jerked to attention as the ambulance barrel rolled to the infield just out of turn two.

The cop jumped to action...for as big and round as he was, he hurdled the track wall and lept on to the track, covering the ten-fifteen yards to the woman in a flash.

Next thing you know, he had her lay back on the hood of the car...her legs went up...and amongst all the pandemonium...her screaming, the track officials trying to hold her with looks of total shock and bewilderment as they just did not realize what was actually happening. The cop's voice through the open mike was the only sound that was calming as he said, "Miss...I have five children, just lay back and listen to what I tell you.....that's right.....now take a breath...and push....again....yes, yes....almost..."

And then he was standing there with a baby in his meaty paws. He cradled the baby as he reached into his pocket, pulled out a jack knife and in one quick motion the baby was completely free....he did something and then through the open mike came the sounds of a baby crying.

All in front of a few thousand fans in the stand....
 
OldTimer said:
Trying to locate an article. About 1974, at a dirt race track in northern Wisconsin....a woman came down from the stands and screamed through the fence as the feature cars were lined up on the track and they were doing driver introductions. The drivers were out of their cars and one started to point in the direction of the woman.

It was like watching a wreck starting on the back stretch as all eyes and heads turned to where the driver was pointing. The woman was clinging to the chain link fence her knees buckling underneath her. The announcer actually saw the cause first and yelled through the PA system, screaming for the ambulance. All the yellow lights started flashing and you could see the track workers turning red in the face as they frantically ran towards the woman...the flagman directed them to help her through the fence an on to the track....probably thinking it would be faster for the ambulance.

The emergency lights from the ambulance could be seen flashing as it made its way through the pits past the back straight...it came out the pit entrance by turn two, and instead of following the track through turn one, it made an abrupt right turn. I am guessing they thought they would cut through the middle of the infield...instead, a combination of the hard right, the high center of gravity, and the bank forming a negative camber....the ambulance ended up on it's side after doing a roll and a half down the track.

In the mean time...the track officials with the help of a couple of drivers picked the woman up and sat her on the fender of the car at the front of the line.

Everyone was looking at her as she clenched her obviously swollen belly and started to scream, just as the track announcer made it to her while still hooked up to the mike for the PA system. The words that came out of her mouth would make a truck driver blush.

That made the cop, who was guarding the now open fence door in front of the stands, look over his shoulder in the woman's direction. He jerked to attention as the ambulance barrel rolled to the infield just out of turn two.

The cop jumped to action...for as big and round as he was, he hurdled the track wall and lept on to the track, covering the ten-fifteen yards to the woman in a flash.

Next thing you know, he had her lay back on the hood of the car...her legs went up...and amongst all the pandemonium...her screaming, the track officials trying to hold her with looks of total shock and bewilderment as they just did not realize what was actually happening. The cop's voice through the open mike was the only sound that was calming as he said, "Miss...I have five children, just lay back and listen to what I tell you.....that's right.....now take a breath...and push....again....yes, yes....almost..."

And then he was standing there with a baby in his meaty paws. He cradled the baby as he reached into his pocket, pulled out a jack knife and in one quick motion the baby was completely free....he did something and then through the open mike came the sounds of a baby crying.

All in front of a few thousand fans in the stand....
Click to expand...

1) did they run the race after that?
2) wonder where that kid is today
 
kkfan91 said:
1) did they run the race after that?
2) wonder where that kid is today
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1. No....thought they might have, but after righting the ambulance and determining that it was too damaged to be of use and another could not be spared to sit at the track as this was a small town, they called the racing off. Instead a home grown, impromptu country/rock band started playing on the back of a flatbed trailer in the parking lot. The proprietor of the race track opened all the gates and gave out free beer and soda...it turned into a big party....a gang of rednecks were carrying the cop around on their shoulders as if he was a hero of a war...the cop kind of got drunk accidentally....but that is ok....his wife showed up and grabbed him by the ear and guided him to their car, where she gently kicked him in the butt to get in the back seat of the squad car...never saw him again, at least I did not. But then I was not a regular at that specific track.

2. For almost thirty years the track had a special race at the end of June commemorating the event...the girl did show up at least once, when she was sixteen and they made her the track queen for the event. Do not know what happened after that.
 
She showed up a year or more later ... at the age of 16.

All right then.
 
This was at El Toro Raceway early 70s.

Some drunk pinhead managed to sneak his car onto the track between heats. He’d pull up to the start/finish line, get out of his car and dance a little jig. Then as security would run out to grab him he’d mock them with a ‘bye bye’ wave, jump back in the car and drive around, then come back and do his dance in front of the grandstands again.

On about his third or fourth time back to do the dance, he just starts his routine again when a full beer can comes out of the stands, travels a minimum 100’ and shatters his windshield.

The crowd explodes with a standing ovation and pinhead is so mad he actually starts rushing towards the fence in front of the stands. Security grabs him, they remove the car and the races continue.
 
OldTimer said:
......the cop kind of got drunk accidentally....but that is ok....his wife showed up and grabbed him by the ear and guided him to their car, where she gently kicked him in the butt to get in the back seat of the squad car...never saw him again
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This was actually my favorite part of the story until I saw the word ‘sixteen’.
 
As I posted just over four years ago:

Early one Friday afternoon at Darlington, Pearson Tower in turn 4, Cup first practice is about to start. I glance to my left and there's a dad-gum opossum trotting along the top of the retaining wall. He gets right in front of my section, hangs a left, and starts up the catch fence! He reaches the top of the chain link and decides he can do better. He takes another hard left, mountaineers along the top of the fence for 8 or 10 feet, and reached one of the fence poles. The pole extends for another 3 or 4 feet beyond where the chain link ends, so he decides that's the place to be and heads out to the end of the pole. Now he's balanced 3 or 4 feet from the chain link, on a 3" round steel pipe, HANGING 40 FEET OVER TURN 4 AND THE GREEN FLAG WAVES TO START PRACTICE.

The first cars pass under him at around 170 and his fur just slicks back in the jet stream. Every three or four laps he changes position and everyone in Pearson Tower stops breathing until he settles back down. After ten minutes, a golf cart full of track official-looking folks pulls up, pointing and staring and generally conducting themselves as if they've been asked to dismantle an armed nuclear weapon. The darnedest part of the whole show is that AT NO TIME DOES PRACTICE STOP. No red, no black, no yellow. Pogo just hangs out in the breeze for 45 minutes, figuring out who to put on his fantasy team and giving the #24 the finger.

When practice finishes, another cart pulls up with a guy in an 'Animal Control' vest. He pulls out one of those 5' animal grabbers (like your Grandpa uses to pick up things he drops, but on steroids), climbs up the fence, and gets a grip around Pogo's neck. It takes him a good 15 minutes to get the critter down because it's keeps getting a fresh grip on every link in the fence. Once on solid land, he's unceremoniously dropped in a burlap sack (the 'possum, not the wildlife catcher). I like to think he was dumped back in the swampy area between the track and the main parking area, where he likely came from.

You know he had to have been an Earnhardt fan.
 
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