My brother sent me a hilarious story


Plank Owner
Sep 18, 2001
Deep in the heart of Texas
about his battle with a family of racoons. I can see this happening as if it were a movie. Over the phone he said it's going to take a bit of work to get all the blood off the porch.

"It was a battle royal last night around 10. Four coons mounted a brazen surprise attack upon our front porch with cat food as their objective. A valiant counter attack was mounted. The battle was so heated that our forces had to be re-supplied with ammunition.
After suffering one fatal casualty by gunfire, and one wounded escapee, the enemy resorted to hand-to-hand combat. The last charge was led by a single assailant who, after suffering three point blank gunshots had to be dispatched by being beaten to death with the barrel of a now empty gun.
It was a night which will live in infamy. One dead combatant was later removed by scavenger while the other was placed in cold storage pending burial by means of the weekly garbage pickup.
Our own forces have vowed to face the next attack with a bigger gun since the smaller just didn't do the job adequately. Good fortune smiled upon us, as we suffered no casualties beyond a little loss of sleep after reliving the exciting battle. Tales will be told for years to come and poetry will recount for generations this memorable struggle with the Coon by the Dark of the Moon."

Over the phone he said that next time it will be a .38 instead of the .22. We grow tough coons in Texas. LOL
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