Struggling with English?? Wassamatta U!

H

HardScrabble

Guest
Let's face it - English is a crazy language.

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend. If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

PS. – Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"
 
I thought the plural of mouse should be meece, why doesn't anything rhyme with orange or just make something up that does.

why aren't comb, bomb and tomb pronounced the same?

You should change your sig to "memory like a seive, retains all the good stuff"

PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
 
Originally posted by Budgirl
Indices is a word ...  

Okay, so I'm being a bit type A.  Sometimes that happens.  Not often, but occasionally. ;)
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Yes "indices" is the correct plural of index. Indexes is commonly used and has recently found its way into many dictionaries as the plural form, but is considered by many to be improper usage.

Indexes is correct if used as a verb.
 
Try these pronunciations and mixed meanings Kat!!

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.

19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
 
There are plenty of words that rhyme with "orange":


BINGE, CRINGE, HINGE, IMPINGE, SINGE, TINGE, WHINGE...

Ted Hughes would constantly whinge, "There's no rhyme I think for orange" But wait, we misheard, For these were his words, "There's no wine to drink for a binge"
 
Wow another educational day with Scrabble,Man my College Degree looks like a GED.I bet you invented that game Boggle Scrabble.:p
 
Just remember...you can prick your finger, but never finger your...

:D
 
Originally posted by abooja
Just remember...you can prick your finger, but never finger your...

:D
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LOL!:)

Also you might prick your boil, but..........:D
 
Does bad mean good,or does bad mean bad?And is a frosted mug an eskimos face,And if he blows a seal,Who does he use for a mechanic?:D
 
Ya you are right Budgirl,What would be the porpuss of him doing that.:p
 
pbunch, you are off the hook! Or off the chain, whichever you wish to be.:screama:
 
Originally posted by kat2220
I thought the plural of mouse should be meece, why doesn't anything rhyme with orange or just make something up that does.

why aren't comb, bomb and tomb pronounced the same?

You should change your sig to "memory like a seive, retains all the good stuff"

PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Click to expand...


actually my dad and i do call them "meeces"
 
There are more exceptions to the rules in English, than words that follow the rules. It's absolutely maddening for a foreign-born person to learn English. It has no rhyme or reason.

Come to think of it, it's hard for children born here to learn English. LOL
 
Yeah, TRL. My mother (the former high school English teacher) used to tell me it was considered one of the most difficult languages to learn. There is so much variety and sublety to it, it's remarkable. I kind of like it for that reason. ;)
 
Originally posted by abooja
Yeah, TRL. My mother (the former high school English teacher) used to tell me it was considered one of the most difficult languages to learn. There is so much variety and sublety to it, it's remarkable. I kind of like it for that reason. ;)
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So what does RE-markable mean, can one erase then RE MARK???:p

AND PAUL, THOSE DO NOT!!!! rhyme with orange

purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
 
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