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T

The_Mad_Hatter

Guest
WOMEN'S ADS

40-ish...................... 49
Adventurer.................. Slept with all your friends
Athletic.................... No tits
Average looking............. Has a face like a basset hound
Beautiful................... Pathological liar
Contagious Smile............ Does a lot of Ecstasy
Educated.................... Banged her Political Science professor
Emotionally Secure.......... Medicated
Feminist.................... Fat ballbuster
Free spirit................. Junkie
Friendship first............ Trying to live down reputation as a slut
Fun......................... Annoying
Gentle...................... Comatose
Good Listener............... Borderline Autistic
New-Age..................... All body hair, all the time
Old-fashioned............... Lights out, missionary position only, no
BJs
Open-minded................. Desperate
Outgoing.................... Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate.................. Sloppy drunk
Poet........................ Depressive Schizophrenic
Professional................ Certified Bitch
Redhead..................... Bad dye-job
Reubenesque................. Grossly Fat
Romantic.................... Looks better by candle light
Social...................... Has been passed around like an hors
d'oeuvres tray
Voluptuous.................. Very Fat
Weight Proportion w/ height. Hugely Fat
Wants Soulmate.............. Stalker
Widow....................... Drove first husband to shoot himself
Young at heart.............. Old bat

MEN'S ADS

40-ish...................... 52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic.................... Watches a lot of NASCAR
Average looking............. Unusual hair growth on ears, nose & back
Educated.................... Will patronize the **** out of you
Free Spirit................. Banging your sister
Friendship first............ As long as friendship involves nookie
Fun......................... Good with a remote and a six pack
Good looking................ Arrogant
Very good looking........... Dumb as a board
Honest...................... Pathological Liar
Huggable.................... Overweight, more body hair than a bear
Mature...................... Older than your father
Open-minded..................Wants to sleep with your roommate but she's
not interested
Physically fit.............. Does a lot of 12-ounce curls
Poet........................ Wrote ex-girlfriend's # on a bathroom stall
Sensitive................... Cries at chick flicks
Very sensitive.............. Gay
Spiritual................... Got laid in a cemetery once
Stable...................... Arrested for stalking, but not convicted
 
Thanks Hatter,
I been trying to break the code for years.
 
Originally posted by Walrus_3
Thanks Hatter,
I been trying to break the code for years.
Click to expand...

:D I wish I would've had that list four years ago!
 
I've read 'em, but I've never done anything more than that, HONEST!
 
Some of those crack me up. I read them every once in a great while when I need a laugh. I always crack up when I see something like "proportionately sized" or "voluptuous(sp?)". I picture a woman big enough to keep you warm in the winter and big enough to give you shade in the summer.
 
My brother likes really big women. He says they are more appreciative when they get it. I'll have to take his word for it.
 
O yeah...I'll have to take it too and congrats on the Member status.
 
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