Ryan Blaney Should be in Prison

WhiningSmoke

WhiningSmoke

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Forgive me for my absence everybody, as I’ve just been released from prison on bail for committing marriage fraud. But to be fair, I was under the impression that fraud was legal.

In November, live on NBC, I witnessed Ryan Blaney win a Cup Title. Dude was tied for 3rd most wins, had the 5th most top fives, the 7th best average finish, 0 poles, tied for 4th most top tens, led the 7th most laps, scored the 6th most points, and got beat by a watermelon farmer in the championship race. Even in the Final 4 era, he’s literally the only driver in ten years not to win the last race of the season. Dude LITERALLY could not beat Ross Chastain. He LOST his own championship race. 😂😂😂

Upon the conclusion of the final race, where everybody was celebrating Blaney and treating him like a legitimate NASCAR Cup Series Championship, I decided to take payment to marry a gorgeous 23-year old exotic dancer from Cuba for $50,000 so she could obtain a VISA. This backfired when I was being interviewed and did not know her name. To be fair, I had met her in a strip club so I legitimately did not know her real name. I argued that there were plenty of women who I’d been with in the past that I didn’t know the names of, but unfortunately the interviewer wasn’t hearing it. I then informed the interviewer that Ryan Blaney was being allowed to parade around with a NASCAR Cup Series title despite having the 6th best season in the sport, but that did me no good either. He’s literally in the 83rd percentile of NASCAR Cup Series drivers, but he’s our champion.

Ryan Blaney committed fraud live on NBC and he gets rewarded with money, fame, a trophy, and recognition. I commit fraud live in a strip club and all that happens is that I am arrested and my beautiful fiancé, Elektra, gets deported.

Not since Chase Elliott’s championship has such a Mickey Mouse championship been won.
 
WhiningSmoke said:
Forgive me for my absence everybody, as I’ve just been released from prison on bail for committing marriage fraud. But to be fair, I was under the impression that fraud was legal.

In November, live on NBC, I witnessed Ryan Blaney win a Cup Title. Dude was tied for 3rd most wins, had the 5th most top fives, the 7th best average finish, 0 poles, tied for 4th most top tens, led the 7th most laps, scored the 6th most points, and got beat by a watermelon farmer in the championship race. Even in the Final 4 era, he’s literally the only driver in ten years not to win the last race of the season. Dude LITERALLY could not beat Ross Chastain. He LOST his own championship race. 😂😂😂

Upon the conclusion of the final race, where everybody was celebrating Blaney and treating him like a legitimate NASCAR Cup Series Championship, I decided to take payment to marry a gorgeous 23-year old exotic dancer from Cuba for $50,000 so she could obtain a VISA. This backfired when I was being interviewed and did not know her name. To be fair, I had met her in a strip club so I legitimately did not know her real name. I argued that there were plenty of women who I’d been with in the past that I didn’t know the names of, but unfortunately the interviewer wasn’t hearing it. I then informed the interviewer that Ryan Blaney was being allowed to parade around with a NASCAR Cup Series title despite having the 6th best season in the sport, but that did me no good either. He’s literally in the 83rd percentile of NASCAR Cup Series drivers, but he’s our champion.

Ryan Blaney committed fraud live on NBC and he gets rewarded with money, fame, a trophy, and recognition. I commit fraud live in a strip club and all that happens is that I am arrested and my beautiful fiancé, Elektra, gets deported.

Not since Chase Elliott’s championship has such a Mickey Mouse championship been won.
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This cant be because the Felon got off with just an ankle bracelet and community service.

In addition to this Ryan shouldnt be forced to sit in an inescapable jail cell when Joe Gibbs comes to see him with aunt Easters fat bible. (from Sanford and Son). Cutie Pie would also be at a tremondous risk if he were to visit him, and he would also be snarkef he didnt visit him.

I think you should look to Tyler Reddick as your guide for bringing in Cuban wimmins. His wife has some Dominican Republics blood in her and it looks like he bought her in via Chicago so it should be easier you.

- Dont go through the Immigration offices in Florida and they will just laugh and tell you to get with the program and to fix you up a liitle one and done transport boat (make it small so there is just enough extra room for her purse but not enough room for her momma).

-Cuba is also closer to America than the Domican Republics and all you should need is a Juan Boat and few extra gallons of gas.

- Pick an easier name to remember.Tyler Reddicks wife goes by the name "Alexa DeLeon" how hard could that to be to Google. All they had to do was to associate Alexa with Google and Ponce De Leon to the Juan Boat and boom there it is an authentic sounding name you will not forget.
- She also goes by Alexa DeLeon on instagram (not Reddick).

If a B level driver can can pull that off, how is it that you can't even arrange a shorter boat ride for the 50k.
 
Steamboat Willy is public domain not Mickey.

I'm sick of that stupid phrase anyway I've never seen an opinion I respect that uses it.
 
Greg said:
This cant be because the Felon got off with just an ankle bracelet and community service.

In addition to this Ryan shouldnt be forced to sit in an inescapable jail cell when Joe Gibbs comes to see him with aunt Easters fat bible. (from Sanford and Son). Cutie Pie would also be at a tremondous risk if he were to visit him, and he would also be snarkef he didnt visit him.

I think you should look to Tyler Reddick as your guide for bringing in Cuban wimmins. His wife has some Dominican Republics blood in her and it looks like he bought her in via Chicago so it should be easier you.

- Dont go through the Immigration offices in Florida and they will just laugh and tell you to get with the program and to fix you up a liitle one and done transport boat (make it small so there is just enough extra room for her purse but not enough room for her momma).

-Cuba is also closer to America than the Domican Republics and all you should need is a Juan Boat and few extra gallons of gas.

- Pick an easier name to remember.Tyler Reddicks wife goes by the name "Alexa DeLeon" how hard could that to be to Google. All they had to do was to associate Alexa with Google and Ponce De Leon to the Juan Boat and boom there it is an authentic sounding name you will not forget.
- She also goes by Alexa DeLeon on instagram (not Reddick).

If a B level driver can can pull that off, how is it that you can't even arrange a shorter boat ride for the 50k.
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I think the melon farmer is at the bottom of all of this. He wouldn't go along with Nascar rigging the race, the relentless wrath of the felon giving him the lame engines he was giving to Ross, so he switched cars with C.Bell when he wasn't looking. A little duct tape, a snip here and there and voila it looked just like a Chevy from 50 feet when he was done.
 
I mean he did kind of junk Newman in 2020, so.

I think Big Hoss Ross vs Noah will be a story to watch. Big Hoss thought he would clear em at Kansas.
 
StandOnIt said:
I think the melon farmer is at the bottom of all of this. He wouldn't go along with Nascar rigging the race, the relentless wrath of the felon giving him the lame engines he was giving to Ross, so he switched cars with C.Bell when he wasn't looking. A little duct tape, a snip here and there and voila it looked just like a Chevy from 50 feet when he was done.
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You blab about tape when the Chevys got busted for louvers and then greenhouses.....like I've got nothing to fire back with? Hilarious. The only thing missing from our crap at Pocono was a couple of has beens chastising the fanbase for even considering that their organization cheated.
 
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